Green, Red 'n' Yellow
by Rai829
Summary: You know, having amnesia isn't easy, especially when crazy people are constantly trying to kill you. If you're lucky, though, you could wake up with extreme powers of ultimate destruction, much like these three did. This is their insane story.
1. amnesia is annoying

**A/N: That's right! The laziest writer of all time is back and suckier than ever! **

**The basic idea for this story has been in my head for a bit and it's driving me crazy, so I decided to give this whole 'story-writing' thing another try (Forecasts are calling for lots and lots of failure.). The basic idea is that the Eds have amnesia, but don't really care, are now really powerful bad-asses and get into really crazy situations that often call for lots and lots of guns and violence to get out of. Pretty simple idea all together, but lots of opportunities. Not a lot happens in this chapter, but enjoy anyway!**

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Man, his head hurt.

Where was he? In a field of grass at what appeared to be dawn. Okay.

How did he get there? He couldn't remember.

Was there any civilization nearby? He could see a road a short ways away and there was a highway sign, so maybe.

Was everything-Especially his manhood-where it was supposed to be? Yes, thank God.

Who were those two other guys on the ground? He didn't know.

Checklist complete.

He stood up, satisfied with his analysis of the situation, and looked himself over. He smiled. The jumpsuit he was wearing was dark yellow-his favorite color-with red streaks going down the sides. He also had on matching yellow boots that came up to his ankles.

_'Nice threads,' _he thought with a smile as he popped his collar.

He tried to smooth his messy, black hair down, but three very long, thick stalks wouldn't cooperate, so he just did what he could. after he finished, He looked back over to the two that were still unconscious. They were wearing the same type of jumpsuit he was wearing, only different colors. Maybe one of them knew how they got out there.

He went over to one of them looked him over. He appeared to be in his late teens and his jumpsuit was solid red. His boots were also a bit longer, going up to his shin, and they were red. He also wore this stupid-looking black hat that looked like a sock.

"Hey!" The conscious teen lightly kicked the one lying down in the side. "Wake up!"

After another kick-this one a bit harder-his eyes fluttered open and he stared up at the person that had woken him up. He groaned as he stood up, rubbing his throbbing head. He was taller than the other teen and very lanky.

The sock-headed one was about to ask a question, but got distracted as he looked down at his jumpsuit.

"Filthy, filthy, filthy..." he muttered as he brushed the dirt off.

He then looked over at the much shorter teen, who was staring at him like 'Are you serious?'.

"Um...salutations," the teen with the red jumpsuit started, not wanting to be rude.

"Hey!" The other teen greeted back, then cut straight to the chase. "Do you know who I am or how we got out here?"

"No I don't. Sorry. I don't even know who I am."

The short one cursed under his breath, some help that was. He walked over to the next and last guy. He was also in his late teens and his jumpsuit was dark green, with a white streak and a red streak going around his torso. His boots were green and ankle-high. His hair was very short, almost a buzz-cut, and and an extremely bright shade of orange. His most striking feature, however, was his gigantic monobrow.

"Wake up!" the shortest teen lightly slapped him across the face a couple times, but there was no response. He slapped him a little harder, but still no response. "Wake up, monobrow!" he then took him by the collar and shook him, rather roughly.

"Hey! Don't just shake him like that!" the sock-headed teen defended Monobrow.

"Shut up, sockhead!" the shortest teen commanded as he looked at Sockhead with a sneer, he hated being told what to do.

"You shut up...shorty!" it was a lame insult , Sockhead knew that, but he wasn't about to be insulted and pushed around by some arrogant jerk he didn't even know.

In the blink of an eye, Shorty had dashed over, grabbed Sockhead by the collar and brought him down to eye level. Sockhead was about ready to crap himself under the shorter teen's hard glare

"Not the face!" Sockhead yelled as he put his arms up in defense.

"Don't. Call. Me. Shorty!" the short teen all but growled as he gave the taller teen a quick shake for good measure.

"Okay! Okay! I'm sorry!" after his apology, Sockhead was let go.

Sockhead fixed his collar after that, visibly shaking a bit, but he quickly regained his composure and cleared his throat. After doing some deep breaths, the short teen also calmed down a bit. He sighed.

"Look, I'm kinda sorry for exploding like that," he apologized in his own rough way, though he was still scowling. "Just don't call me 'shorty'!"

"...You apologized, so...it's alright, I suppose. I won't call you 'Shorty' if you hate it that much, but don't get so physical with people."

"whatever."

They both heard a groan and looked over to the last person in their would-be party and saw that he was getting up. Jesus, he was tall! At least 6'6" easy. He cracked his neck and let out a huge yawn, then looked over at the other two, a huge smile breaking out on his face.

"Hiya!" he said, waving despite the fact that they were only a few feet apart.

"Uh, hey," the shortest one said as he waved back awkwardly. "Do you know how we got out here, or who we are."

"Nope." he replied in a cheery voice, still smiling, "no idea what's goin' on here, yellow guy!"

"Shit, that sucks! Wait, yellow guy?" he looked down at himself and his yellow jumpsuit. "Guess I am the yellow guy. Actually, that could work. I'm Yellow, you're Green and sockhead's Red." it wasn't the best naming system, but they had to call each other something.

"Not the best way to name ourselves, but it works fine," Red said with a nod.

"I like it!" Green yelled enthusiastically, then struck a heroic pose. "Who the hell do you think I am! I am Green: Bringer of Bacon and Vanquisher of Evil!"

Red and Yellow stared blankly at their...strange companion, whose pose was ruined when a loud grumble cut through the air.

"I'm hungry," Green said, then chuckled a little at the noise his stomach made.

"Me too. Come on, let's go see what that highway sign says," Yellow said as he took point, making his way towards the road, the others following.

The three soon reached their destination and read the sign as they stood on the side of the road. It read:_ 'Peach Creek City. 10 miles'._

"Ten miles!" yellow's jaw dropped, then he scowled. "Great. Well we better get goin', I'm frickin' starving!"

"How _exactly _are we gonna pay for food?" Red asked a rather good question, causing the three to stop dead in their tracks.

The three dug in every pocket of their suits for a good two minutes, hoping they would find _something_, but no go, they were flat broke.

"Great! We're gonna walk all that way and still not get jack to eat!" Yellow complained, then a light bulb went off over his head and he smiled deviously.

Green reached over and plucked the light bulb out of the air, then looked at it dumbly.

"Green, how did you do that?" Red asked.

"No idea!" Green answered, sounding rather proud despite his answer.

Yellow suddenly wrapped his arms around his two companions and started walking forward.

"Just stick with me, boys!" he said with a giant smirk. "Your fearless, handsome leader has a plan."

"Who is this 'Fearless, handsome leader' you speak of?" Red asked in a sarcastic deadpan.

"Yeah, introduce us!" Green added with excitement, honestly thinking there was someone else he didn't know about.

These remarks earned them both a slap upside the back of the head, causing Green to stumble forward and Red almost fell over.

"It's me, you idiots!"

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"I found them, they're walking down the highway, looks like they're heading towards a city called 'Peach Creek'. Should I engage them?" the figure said into his cell phone as he watched the trio from a hill, never taking his eyes out of the binoculars. It was some kinda divine miracle that he even found them.

"[Negative. I want to see where exactly they're going.]" the voice on the other end was smooth, female and just the smallest bit British.

"Are you sure that's a good idea? With all the trouble those three have caused, we should take them out as soon as possible," the figure said as he leaned forward on his motorcycle and rested his elbows on the handlebars

"[Patience, luv, I know what I'm doing. Keep watching them and report back if you find something out. Understood, luv?]"

"Understood," he answered, not wanting to question his leader's logic.

"[Good boy.]" she sounded very seductive all of the sudden, "[Find something good enough and I might just show you how we shag in England.]"

A quick squirt of blood shot from the figure's nose as his eyes widened to the size of dinner plates; the blood landed on the front of the bike.

He was about to respond, but she had hung up.

He sighed as he took the binoculars away from his eyes, then wiped the blood off his face with his gloved hand.

_'Take it easy, Kevin! You are 18, and that's too damn old to be getting flustered like this! Plus, Nazz would kill you if she found out you were getting nosebleeds thinking about Leader like that.'_

He then looked down at the blood he got on his motorcycle and quickly pulled out a rag to wipe the blood away. His bike was very simple-looking, essentially just a gray, slim rectangle with wheels, a seat, foot pegs and handlebars, but he loved it. He had poured his heart and soul into that motorcycle, upgrading it with the best parts he could find, making it the most bad-ass ride ever. He loved it like it was real and named it 'Francesca'.

Kevin took a quick moment to light up a cigarette before his eyes returned to the binoculars and immediately spotted the three. He smiled sadly as he remembered how he used to be good friends with the three, back when they were still just little kids. He sighed, things were a lot simpler back then.

"Okay, dorks, why are you going back to Peach Creek? What could you possibly have left to go back to?"

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"Hey look!"

Red and Yellow looked over at their companion and shared a groan. Green had snaked his arm into his suit, unzipped his fly, stuck his thumb out through his fly and started using said thumb to hitchhike.

"It's like my thumb is my penis," Green pointed out the obvious with a hearty chuckle.

"Dude, no one's gonna stop for that," Yellow deadpanned.

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**A/N: Like I said earlier, not a lot happens and it's pretty short, but it sets things up well enough, if I do say so myself**.

**Please review.  
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	2. walking sucks

**Okay, this chapter is still really short and I'm sorry for that, but let's face it, if I tried to write any more this chapter would never get finished (I told you I was lazy.). I actually had a couple of extra scenes planned out, but decided to scrap them because they explained too much of the back story. **

**Enjoy!  
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Walking. Walking. Walking. God, walking sucked! They had been walking for at least two hours on this damned highway and had tried to occupy themselves with talking, but they really had nothing to talk about since they couldn't remember their pasts. Red had occasionally tried to get them to talk about science, but Green was as dumb as a post and Yellow hated science.

"How much longer, ya' think?" Green asked.

"Given the speed at which we've been walking, I'd say about thirty more minutes," Red answered instantly.

"I hope you're right. I need food!" Yellow complained as his stomach grumbled.

Cars roared past them, completely ignoring their attempts to hitchhike.

The trio were at the exit to the city within a few minutes. They noticed a small 'One way' sign just before the ramp, but it was made with cardboard and spray-painted (Rather poorly.) with red paint and decorated with skulls.

"That's the mark of a gang right there," Yellow commented as he pointed out the sign.

"No question," Red added as they started walking up the ramp.

"I don't see any marks, just a crappy sign." Green was instantly slapped by Yellow.

"Shut up!"

"If this highway really is gang turf, shouldn't we try to find a different route?" Red reasoned.

"Why? You chicken?" Yellow smirked as he looked up at Red, who simply sighed at the immaturity of his companion.

Soon, the three had made it up the ramp and were officially on the next highway.

Green caught their attention when he spotted what looked like a lone tole booth a little ways up the road. Stationed in front of the booth were three vehicles, each having several people standing around them. They were all dressed in leather jackets, torn-up clothes, chains, studs, spiked jewelry and the stupidest haircuts you've ever seen. There was nine of them, all male.

"That's a gang right there," Green said, then chuckled a bit. "Just like the movies."

"Perhaps we should try to reason with them," Red suggested.

"You can't reason with a gang, Sockhead," Yellow said, then smiled somewhat. "Just let your fearless leader handle this, boys! He's got everything covered."

So the three walked forward to confront the most obvious gang in history.

When they were about thirty feet away Yellow gestured for Red and Green to stay put. Yellow was brave, Red had to give him that. Of course, you had to be either brave or insane to walk right into the middle of a gang as if you own the place. Upon consideration, Red was pretty sure.

The cars were placed in sort of a half-circle, almost forming a mouth in front of the booth, which Yellow stopped right in the middle of.

The apparent leader of the group stood up from the hood of his car with a sadistic smile on his face and walked toward Yellow. He was at least 6'3" and dressed in your stereotypical punk attire, complete with a ridiculous-looking pink mohawk (Not included in his height.).

"Do you want passage to the city?" the punk asked in a scratchy voice.

There was an extremely obvious height difference between Yellow and the punk, but Yellow didn't care.

"I do," Yellow replied in a calm tone.

"If you wanna get past the toll, you gotta pay," the punk said simply, a small smile crossing his ugly features.

"Well, I don't have any money, so how about you get outta my way before I mess you up!" Yellow was truly the master of subtlety.

Yellow was suddenly staring down the barrel of a black pistol. The punk was quick on the draw, Yellow would give him that. He wasn't scared, though; he knew he could take this guy easy.

"You have no idea who you've just messed with!" He growled.

Yellow slammed the side of his hand into the thug's gun, breaking it as if it were the weakest glass in the world. Using his momentum, he continued to spin and ended his rotation with a brutal roundhouse kick that shattered several ribs. The scream of agony was deafening and alerted the other thugs to pull out their guns.

They never even got a chance to fire as Yellow was on them in a second. He dashed forward, grinning like a cheshire cat the entire time and practically touched faces with one of them. The thug was too stunned to react, and Yellow took the time to rear his head back and send it flying forward in a crushing headbutt, shattering the thug's skull. There were still two thugs on either side of him and they both turned their pistols on his head at the same time, practically touching him with the guns.

BANG/BANG

"Ugh!"/"Augh!"

The two thugs fell back, the bullets tearing through their chests. Yellow had ducked just after they had pulled the triggers. Then he grabbed both pistols out of the air, flipped to the side to dodge a hail of bullets, turned his body around while flipping and fired off several shots while in the air. Two of the thugs were struck right between the eyes. He landed, firing off one more shot and struck down another. Yellow quickly leaned back and watched as about three bullets soared overhead. He then sprang back up into a standing position and shot the last two between the eyes before they could even react.

"M-M-M-MONSTER _KILL_!" Green hollered. "Holy crap, that was awesome! I wonder if me or Red can do anything like that."

"Something is telling me 'yes'," Red said, completely unfazed by all the bloodshed.

"Something's telling me 'yes', too!" Green was obviously excited. "I bet we were part of some sorta...some sorta, uhm..." he paused and stared dumbly at nothing, searching for the right words. "Oh, got it! I bet we were part of some kinda elite ass-kicking unit before our minds were erased!"

Yellow and Red rolled their eyes at their stupid companion. Yellow then looked over at the thug he had hit first. He appeared to be unconscious and was lying face down on the road.

"Can either of you check pulses?" Yellow asked.

"I'm pretty sure I can," Red answered.

"Go check it," Yellow ordered and stored the pistols in hammerspace.

Following the order with no question, Red went over and knelt down to put two fingers on the side of his neck.

"Be careful," Green warned, concern in his voice. "He might turn into a zombie."

Yellow and Red both gave him looks. Yellow was looking at him like 'are you retarded' and Red just looked confused.

Green shrugged. "Could be radiation goin' around."

Yellow facepalmed and sighed, lightly shaking his head as he did so.

"Well, he's dead." Red said as he pulled his hand away and stood up. "Your kick must have drove some bone into his heart."

"Whatever, let's just hurry up and get-"

RRRRRRiiiiiiiiCCCCRRRRAAAAA

Red and Yellow both looked over at the sound and each quirked an eyebrow. Green had ripped the tole booth (And a rather large chunk of concrete attached to the bottom.) out of the ground and was now effortlessly tossing the booth up and down as if he were a child making his action figures fly.

"look what I can do!" he exclaimed happily. "And it was so easy! I wonder just how strong I really am."

"Well, Green seems to have found out what he's good at," Red said blankly.

"What can you do, y' think?" Yellow asked as he looked over at Red.

Red put a finger to his giant chin in thought. Maybe if he focused it would come to him. Closing his eyes and taking a deep breath, Red concentrated for a few seconds.

"Dude, your eyelids are glowing red," Yellow said, completely deadpan.

Red opened his eyes and nearly fell back in surprise when everything he saw was red with white outlines. He could see a target sight, moving around is field of vision, before locking onto a black SUV. The outline around it grew bigger and much more pronounced. His eyes widened.

"whoa." he said calmly.

"What?" Green asked, still tossing the booth up and down effortlessly.

"I know everything about that SUV: when it was made, the quality of the parts...everything." he then looked over Yellow. "Just by looking at you I know everything about you that's physical. Like, I can't read your thoughts, because those aren't physical, but even then I can scan your facial expression and body language and I can still know what you're thinking. Right now you're thinking 'This guy's like a human super computer'."

Yellow's eyes widened. "That's right."

"Also, your eyes are glowing red, and that looks really cool!" Green said with a thumbs-up as he nonchalantly tossed the booth away with one hand.

"Wait, how can you tell when the car was made?" Yellow asked.

"When I say everything physical, I mean _everything_. How many of it's original parts are still in it, how many paint jobs it's had, what shape it's in. I obviously can't just know what year it was made in, but by puttng all the information together I can deduce other things that don't come from the initial scan; like what I did with Yellow's thoughts."

"And all this just...happens...like at once?" Green asked as he felt a headache coming on.

"no, the things that have to be deduced come a millisecond later."

"My head hurts." Green rubbed his head.

"Can you, like, turn it off, or will you always see things like that from now on?" Yellow asked.

To answer the question, Red returned his eyes to their normal color.

"Now my vision is normal," he said.

"So, wait, is that like your superpower? Also, do me and Yellow have powers or are we just really bad-ass humans?" Green asked, just to be sure. If he really was, like, some kinda mutant, he wanted to know so he could have the proper nerdgasm.

Red quickly scanned the both of them, then looked down and scanned himself.

"We have a special gene in our body that gives us our abilities. The scan describes it simply as 'The Mutant Gene'. Green's ability is described as 'Power', Yellow's is 'Speed', and mine is 'Scan'."

"Awesome, I'm officially not human!" Green exclaimed as he did a fist-pump. Simply being a bad-ass human was way too boring for his taste, being a mutant meant he was special, and he liked special.

"Scan the vehicles, Red and tell us which is the best," Yellow instructed.

Red did just that.

"The black SUV, no question. It doesn't look like much, but it's engine is extremely powerful, it's got boosters and even has weapons in it."

"You're amazing, Red!" Yellow smiled and pat his friend on the shoulder.

Then Yellow's body seemed to twitch and he was suddenly counting money. Red looked at him, then looked back at the dead bodies, then back at Yellow, appaled. Seeing the thugs die didn't faze him, they deserved it, but what was basically grave-robbing them rubbed him the wrong way for some reason.

"What? They're not gonna use it!" Yellow defended himself. "There's 800 bucks in here all-together. Not bad, but it won't last us that long."

Using his Speed once again, Yellow gathered the pistols the gang had dropped and put them all in the back seat of the SUV. He then gestured for Green and Red to come near the vehicle and handed both of them two pistols.

"Can you hot-wire this thing?" Yellow asked Red.

"Easily." Red stored his pistols away and got into the driver's seat; he had the engine revving in two seconds.

"Nice work, Red!" Yellow congratulated as he dug under the middle seats for anything useful.

He smiled as he pulled out a pump-action shotgun and tossed it to Green.

"This seems more your speed, Lumpy."

Green caught the gun and inspected it somewhat, then smiled and cocked his new weapon.

"This is my _boomstick_!" he exclaimed happily.

Yellow found nothing more in the middle seat and instead dug under the driver's seat and immediately produced two mini-Uzis.

"These are mine," he said and pocketed them.

Yellow searched under the passenger seat and found nothing, then searched the back-most seats and found a scoped Desert Eagle.

"Last gun, Red." Yellow climbed into the passenger seat and handed Red the Deagle.

"Thank you," Red said politely as he took the large pistol and stored it in hammerspace.

Yellow climbed into the passenger seat while Green climbed into the middle, pushing the last three pistols to the edge of the seat as he did so.

Under the radio controls, Yellow could spot several switches, all of them color-coded. The left-most was red, then yellow, black, green, blue and a very dark purple. He was about to ask which does what, but his stomach grumbling reminded him what they were supposed to be doing.

"Well, boys: we're young, we got money, weapons and a bad-ass ride! What're we gonna do now?" Yellow grinned a cocky grin.

"We're goin' to Disney World!" Green smiled happily.

SLAP

"No, stupid! We're gonna go to the city and get some damn food!"

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**So, what do you think? I'm guessing you wanna go all Chef Ramsay on my ass for making you wait so damn long only to give you something so small. I'm going to make the next chapter bigger...hopefully.  
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**please review (Criticisms welcomed.).  
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